And Life Continues

Phone sex. Intense phone sex. We had intense phone sex last night and I came hard. After that I, apparently, started babbling about truckers and socks, and I vaguely remember having a dream about M selling white athletic socks out of the cab of her truck but with the disclaimer that sales would only be made to those with valid proof of age ID (over 18 only), and then I passed out.

A version of sleepwalking runs in my family. It's like sleeptalking. It is sleeptalking. My mother does it all the time. We appear to be awake in bed, our eyes are open, and we can sit up, but we are dead asleep. You can carry on a conversation with me, ask me questions and the like, and I will, I am told, answer you but the answers may be a bit peculiar. G finds this both a way to amuse herself and thinks it's some kind of a lie-detector. It is not a particularly accurate indicator, as I suspect that I (like my sleeptalking mother) am truthful to the reality of my dreams. I sometimes wake up in the middle of talking because I hear a voice and it doesn't make any sense and then I realize it's my voice.

I have found that I am unable to lie or lie through omission with M. I can barely keep a good secret from her. I sent her a card recently (well, several cards and flowers) and I called her up to tell her what the card looked like and what I wrote. She just laughed and said I should save my money and just call her with descriptions of the cards and what I would have written. But real cards are better and I can enclose pics of my life in New England.

She likes the pictures of my house and land. It's a small place by my town's standards, less than 15 acres, mostly woods. An acre or two of lawn. A few outbuildings, including a very small barn. And a very tiny house with a large three season porch and a bank of windows. Perfect for two. I hope that I will be able to keep it in the upcoming divorce, it's the first house I have ever purchased and owned, I got the mortgage when I was making a lot of money, before I decided to give it up to try to make a living as a freelance writer. Freelancing is much spottier financially, and I have temp-ed, as well, but I am happier than when I worked 6+ days a week from 8am until 10 or 11 most evenings. There was a two to three year period when I never saw my home by sunlight except for the very early morning before I left for work and my hour commute or occasionally if I skipped out at 8:30pm and got home to see it in the fading 9:30pm sunset during the long days of summer. Sundays I was usually asleep trying to catch up on rest before the next week's grind, or I was up fretting about negotiations or some other horribly tangled problem or potentially litigious issue.

M likes the ruralness of my home. The fact that the stars are sharp and brilliant at night because there are few competing lights. And the evenings are quiet but for the sounds of coyote or owls or a baying dog or two. Or perhaps the simple clip clopping of a horse and rider out for full moon amble. You can hear the wind as it sweeps softly through my little valley of woods and fields. It is possible to enjoy the silence.

I like to go out to see meteor showers because they can be breathtaking if the weather conditions are right. The last meteor shower I got up for was in the middle of the night. I bundled up in a bright yellow hooded down parka and went out at 2am to view. The best view, it turned out, was from the middle of the asphalt road that runs in front of the house. The best way to view it was by lying down in in the middle of the road and looking up at the heavens. G was asleep because she thinks my meteor shower viewing is rather silly, and the dogs and cat watched me curiously and anxiously from the porch windows. It was spectacular! I watched for a while and then, apparently, dozed off because I woke up and looked at my watch and it was an hour later! One dog and the cat remained at the porch windows (the other two must have bored and gone to bed) and I thought I had better move or I would frighten my neighbor in a few hours (he leaves for work at 5 am) if he came upon this bright yellow down blob asleep in the road. Luckily for the sleeping me, there is no other traffic on the road at that hour and little traffic during daylight. M says she will get up with me to view the meteors, and to make sure I don't fall asleep on town roads again.

M and I will see each other in a week or so. Her sister now insists on meeting me for even a short 10 minutes because M is so in love and is talking about moving to New England to be with me, and so her sister wants to check me out. I am fine with that, I understand and respect that those who love M want to be sure that I can love her well. But M says "I'm not sure when we'll come up for air, because I'm going to be fucking her for most of the few hours we have together" but sister is undeterred. Family is like that. Now I just have to be sure I pack an appropriate outfit in which to meet her sister, because I am only good naked for some things.

And life continues!