Saturday, January 31, 2009

Readying to Return

Went to the post office to ship things back to New England. This way I escape the worry and aggravation of lost airline luggage, since I am changing planes on the way home more times than I have fingers on my right hand, and I am changing airlines a time or two or three or four. But the price for the flight is unbeatable and I get to spend a day with M.

I had an interesting time at the post office, and I think it must be because I am radiating love, I must be glowing.

The female clerk at the counter went from serious and dour with the previous customers to fun, and engaging, and very sweet to me. I had to wait in line twice, because after I made the first transaction, I didn't want to hold up the long line for my second, and so completed it at an empty counter and returned. Luck would have it, I ended back at the same window with the cutie who was happy to seem me back, and even sweeter the second time.

While I was filling out a form to send a parcel to M (the act in between transaction 1 and 2), a middle-aged (my aged) white guy appeared out of nowhere and decided to check me out and chat me up. I ignored him at first, but he was clearly determined. He began to show off for me by literally trying to rip a telephone book in half. I do notice that sometimes men my age seem to act like very goofy 12 year old boys around me, and often do very silly things just like this to gain my attention. I really can't explain why I seem to bring this out in adult men, but it is better than the sleaziness I sometimes see men direct toward women, and if they have to hit on me, I'd rather they do it this way than the other. Anyway this guy earnestly explained that it was a trick he saw on tv and that he was sure he could do it for me, but then after trying really really very hard for a good 5 minutes, he just couldn't. It was pretty funny.

After my final transaction, as I was leaving with my stack of more soon-to-be-filled empty boxes, a very handsome young African American soldier ahead of me saw me and stopped to let me go out first. When he realized, to his surprise, that the door did not open automatically and I would have to get it, he practically jumped over himself to get to the door to open it and hold it for me as he apologized profusely while balancing an enormous and heavy box on his shoulder, pretending my burden of empty boxes was greater than his. It was very sweet.

I sometimes think of biological men as a completely different and foreign species from me and I don't get them. But I do recognize two traits in these two fellows that I love in butches - that chivalrous instinct to get a door and help a lady even at their own discomfort, and the boyish desire to show off for pretty femmes by performing sometimes silly, large and small feats of daring do. What I find ironic is that because I became a lesbian at age 12, and my point of reference for almost the entirety of my life has been as a lesbian, I personally recognize these types of acts of chivalry and daring do as butch acts, not as biologically male acts.

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