I realized that I neglected to mention that M and I have been talking about fisting for quite some time. I have never been fisted and have read a bit about what it feels like, as well as some of the issues that attend the practice. The sensation is supposed to be unbelievable. I already have multiple orgasms for minutes at a time with regular fucking, so I am very intrigued.
I like the thought about opening up to M this way, and to trusting my body to her to fist. M would love to fist me, and she has quite large hands with strong long fingers. Both a thing of beauty, as well as a potential problem since I have a tight pussy. (We have remarked, at times, that I would be a straight man's dream fuck.) And done improperly, fisting can be physically dangerous to the fistee.
When she came to visit last, we spent quite a bit of time teasing each other, until I finally begged her to fuck me. I wanted her inside of me in the worst way, in way that is hard to explain. Sometimes I feel empty without her, I feel as if a part of my own body is missing when we fuck and she is pulling out of me (in an out stroke) or when she has not chosen to enter me. I sometimes find myself in a little panic of "Oh No!", when she's not deep inside of me. Curiously, this is not a sensation that I have felt with anyone else, even with the other butch tops who have fucked me. There is clearly something about this physical connection with M, this union, that fills a deep visceral hunger, it feels primordial. And it's when I do my most impassioned begging.
So we were teasing, and I begged her to fuck me, and I noticed that the outer part of my pussy was a bit sore from the previous days of fucking, so I asked her to go slow. She put one finger in me, and started to fuck me, while continuing to tease me. Then two fingers. I was very wet, and wanted more. But as she put three in, I noticed a bit of pain and we stopped for a moment. I asked her to let me move on her fingers, rather than her thrusting in me. I began moving my hips to take her in, slowly, easing myself on her. I was on my back on the couch, with my hips elevated, one leg over her shoulder, the other spread wide so she had easy access to my pussy. But since my head was lower than my pussy, I couldn't really see what was happening. I began to move on her, my body beginning to relax more, and feeling that familiar welling ache for her to be joined to me. I began to stroke my clit with the pool of wetness that was sliding down from my pussy. My clit was very hard and large and incredibly slick, and all I wanted was more of her. I began to beg her, for more of her, to fuck me, to fuck me deep. She looked down at me, her face full of want and love and lust, and she took control and fucked me, her three fingers fucking me hard, stroking me fast and deep until I came in an intense, consuming, endless orgasm.
With a grin on her face, as she slowly pulled her fingers from me, M said "You easily took four fingers past the knuckle, baby." I think we are getting closer to fisting, and if this is what I come like with four fingers past the knuckle, then I'll let you know when she's finally in, the world may just explode.
What cancer has taught me
55 minutes ago