Surrender

I have been meaning to write a post about a moment shared between M and me, when we met in early February. It's rattled around in my head for weeks now, looking for the right moment to find form and speak. It sort of happened like this:

M and I had been talking about fucking each other for weeks before we met. I wanted her, and want her still, in the worst way. I wanted to feel her inside of me, in an unmistakable and unforgettable manner, to mark our first time together. My desire for her was earth shattering, my need for her was relentless and cruel in its primal urgency. I longed for her confidence, love, and complete control, to find complete release in her power and in her strength. I begged her to fuck me endlessly, to fuck me until my pussy was raw and sore, and then fuck me some more. And yet, still, to care for me, love me, and never to hurt me without my consent, and to that end I was willing to give to her my complete trust, to give her my will.

After 20 hours of fucking, once we finally met, my pussy was "fire engine red" and painfully sore from her cock pummeling and thrilling me. She fucked me energetically in a all kinds of positions: doggie style, pushed face down on the bed on my knees in the plow, bent over the bed, on my back with my legs wrapped around her upper back & shoulders, on my back with my legs straight up against her front so she could hold my ankles and watch her cock sliding in and out of me, missionary, on my side, well, you get the idea, M is very inventive and very driven. After fucking me hard for an hour and knowing that I was close to a g-spot orgasm but not yet ready to release, she pushed me on my back and got on top of me, her cock dangling between her legs. She looked down at me, as I lay in an exhausted and sore heap. She said very matter of factly "I want you to come for me, there is a come in there and I am going to get it. I know your pussy is sore, baby, but I am going to fuck you until you come for me." I looked up at her, my pussy burning and aching after hours of fucking. She said "I am going to give you what you asked for, do you remember what you asked for? I am going to give you what you want." In a fog, I could not remember. She said "You wanted me to fuck you until your pussy was raw and sore, and then fuck you some more. So I am going to give you what you wanted. Understand?" Weakly I protested, "Please, no." She seemed surprised and said "I don't know why I am listening to you," and then, simply, "Who is in charge here?" I felt as if I had no strength or will left. I was afraid of the hurt. But I looked at her, she was so certain, so powerful, so sure. My mind wavered for a moment as I considered my option to refuse her, and then I simply let go, and surrendered my body and my mind completely. I looked at her and said "You are." I was hers to do with as she wanted. I had no will but her will. And all resistance in me, all the voices of reason and control vanished. And in that moment, I also found myself, in my willing assent. She then said, quite gently and tenderly, "I won't hurt you, my love, I'll never hurt you, okay." And as she fucked me and fucked me hard, I found that my red and raw pussy that had ached for hours was now oddly and blissfully without pain, I felt only pleasure, and then, in an enormous unending cascade of relief and release, of pleasure and complete surrender, I came, I came for her, my darling M, I came for her and became wholly hers. It was our miracle.